Effortless Networking: Stepping Forward Into New Situations By: Sri Dasgupta On 2006-10-29
 
Doing anything new can be challenging and anxiety-provoking.

In professional situations, it can be even more stressful -- probably because the consequences of not doing these "new" things, or doing them badly, can be significant.

Yet, doing them may lead to great success.

So if you're new to business networking, how can you get past your stress and anxiety of doing something new and start networking?

Well, here are two very simple things you can do:

1. Find a role model to emulate, and

2. Learn to observe yourself objectively.

Ideally you'd want both, but in a pinch, even one of these can be very useful.

Here's a story that shows how and why this works.

Our 2 year old son used to hate brushing his teeth. We tried various ways to get him to brush his teeth -- pretending to find a bug in his mouth, getting him a fun toothbrush, reasoning with him, singing songs about brushing teeth -- nothing really worked consistently.

Then I had a brainwave (yes, I get those sometimes!).

I invited him to come brush his teeth with me.

We sat next to each other, facing the mirror so he could see both his face and mine. I brushed my teeth slowly so he could see what I was doing. And I asked him to brush his teeth -- just like I was.

It worked like a charm!

He was fascinated with the whole process and brushed his teeth without a fuss. And he did a mighty fine job too!

Why did it work?

1. A role model demystifies the new thing or process.

In the case of my son, when he saw me brushing my teeth, it was no longer a "strange and unknown" experience that his parents insisted he go through everyday! If his mother could do it and not cry, perhaps he could too.

So if business networking is new to you, find someone who currently networks the way you want to.

Even if it's not exactly the way you want to do it, having a "role model" to observe gives you a roadmap of sorts.

Observing your role model, even from a distance, can give you ideas about how you might approach networking, including what not to do or what to do differently.

2. When you're able to see yourself in action, you gain control.

Being able to see what he was doing in the mirror, gave my son more control. For instance, he didn't hurt himself by accidentally brushing his lip, or poking himself.

Similarly, seeing what you're doing can help you adjust and be more precise in your actions.

So practice observing yourself -- and especially when you're doing something "new".

Knowing that you have the ability to notice and correct yourself as you learn how to network and interact with people can be very reassuring.

At the same time, being able to recognize immediately when you do do something well or correctly, naturally increases your confidence to continue.

So learn how to observe yourself objectively -- without getting self-critical or overly analytical! It's a very useful tool to have.

(c) Copyright 2006, Srirupa Dasgupta

Srirupa Dasgupta is the author of Effortless Networking: Everyday Wisdom to Transform your Business and Life. She helps small business owners, entrepreneurs and self-employed professionals build, sustain and leverage the professional and personal network that is necessary to succeed.

To get a free 15-page guide on the "5 Simple Ways to Network Successfully", visit her website at www.EffortlessNetworking.com .

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