I've Got A New Girlfriend, And My Wife Loves Her By: Allen Taylor On 2006-10-29
 
I've got a new girlfriend. Her name is Maxie. She's very sexy, but I think my wife may love her more than I do. She plays with Maxie all the time.

Maxie is our assistant. She's virtually the best thing we've got. She takes all our calls and routes them to the right department. Of course, she's only got two choices: Me or my wife. But she's capable of handling a lot more.

She also frequently sends me very friendly e-mails. She tells me when I've received a fax or when I've missed an important business call. Just the other day, Maxie took a message for me and promptly sent me a note to let me know a client had called. I told my wife, who was shopping for groceries in East Berlin, that I'd have to call her back. She loves it when my new girlfriend interrupts us in our search for the perfect rudabaga.

After hanging up the phone on my wife, I went straight to my e-mail and listened to my voice mail. I didn't even have to bother Maxie, who, by that time, was performing a completely different task. One day, she sent me a fax to my e-mail and I got to read the message right there in my inbox. Does your assistant go through that much trouble? I didn't think so.

My new girlfriend is very smart. She knows where I'll be from one moment to the next. Heck, even I don't know that.

Maxie will follow me all the way to L.A. She doesn't mind the freaks at all. Well, she doesn't really go with me. She just routes me calls when I go there. Though, admittedly, that's not very often.

Nevertheless, I did go to visit my mother-in-law in Hanover and Maxie found me, forwarded me a call I was not even expecting. I hated to tell my wife's mother that she'd have to wait while I checked on my girlfriend, but that's the way it goes. Maxie does such wonderful work.

I like Maxie. My wife loves her. In fact, she plays with Maxie more than I do. She goes absolutely crazy when she calls and Maxie asks her, "Who's calling please?"

My wife just smiles and states her name, relaxed and giddy. Maxie does the rest.

"If you want to speak to Theresa, dial 1; if you want to speak to Allen, dial 2."

My wife may be No. 1, but Maxie is the darling of our lives. Theresa just gets a kick out of Maxie saying her name. And, I must confess, I like it too. But the best part is, we don't pay Maxie for the fabulous work she does. She never asks for a raise and we don't provide her any benefits. She's just a machine. But she's the best girlfriend I've got.

Allen Taylor is the principle of Taylor and Associates, an Internet marketing consultation company for small businesses. Maxie is the name of a virtual assistant provided by Cardinal Communications. To learn more about Maxie, visit The Cardinal Group's web site.

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